Believe Me, I'm Lying
by courtneymarie87
Summary: Just a little Spoby one-shot. Takes place after the happenings of 3x07 "Crazy". Spencer thinks about what Toby did for her. What Toby always does for her. Will she ever be able to tell him the truth? Disclaimer: I don't own characters or the parts of the dialogue that were obviously from the episode.


Spencer Hastings mindlessly strode back and forth across her living room. Past the fireplace once. Past the fireplace again. Past the fireplace again. She stopped abruptly and slowly crumpled to the hardwood floor. Hugging her legs to her chest, hot tears sprang into her eyes as she rested her head on her knees.

When was this all going to end? After Mona had basically kidnapped her and tried to leave her for dead, everyone found out she had been the one behind 'A'. Or at least that's what they thought. That's what Mona wanted them to think. Needed them to think.

The messages began again. The feeling that someone was always watching. The ghostly giggles when no one else was in the room. An overwhelming sense that every time she or Aria or Hanna or Emily turned a corner, something nasty was waiting for them.

Tears eventually flowed freely. This was a frequent occurrence these days and Spencer was not a fan. Never really one to let her emotions get the best of her, she felt worn down and tired. How much could one person take?

It wasn't just her, it was all of them. They had thought they were finally free; they could finally live their lives the way they wanted to without the fear of someone taking everything they had away from them.

They were wrong.

Spencer sat up and wiped her eyes with the back of her hands, shaking her head. It was somehow too easy. If easy was even a word that could be associated with their trauma. Still, there was more to the story. _Way_ more. More people involved. More secrets. More lies.

Lies.

Toby.

Her chest rose heavily and she pushed out a deep breath as she flashed back to a few hours prior.

_She rushed in the door to find him sitting idly on the couch. He wondered where she was. What took her so long. He was worried. He always worried. He _**_had _**_to. Because she made him. Because he loved her. _

_"Can you give me a ride to my car?"_

_"What? It's not here?"_

_"No. We need to hurry. Please?" _

_She turned to rush back out the door, but the tone in his voice made her turn around. She knew he was getting upset. He knew she was hiding something. Something _**_else_**_._

_"Why? What's going on?"_

_"I had to give Jason a ride."_

_"Jason got another tip..."_

_"No! It's not like that... just..."_

_"Well, then tell me what it is like because you're not being your-..."_

_A knock at the door._

_"Spencer, _**_what's_**_ happening?"_

_When she opened it, she was face to face with flashing lights. And Wilden. He said they had found her car with the door wide open and left near the scene of an accident. _**_Shit._**_ She tried her best to talk her way out of it, but she was sinking. _

_"We've been here all night, Detective, I picked her up after work today," Toby interjected. _

_"How many times do I have to tell you to lock your doors, Spence? It's not the 1950's." _

_He wouldn't let her drown._

A felony. He committed a felony for her. Thinking about it made a knot form in her stomach and a vile lump rise in her throat.

All he did for her was _everything _and she couldn't stop lying to him. She couldn't simply step out of her web and unravel the truth. He was always putting her first and she could never stop putting things ahead of him. She didn't want to do that, but it just kept happening.

She was so cold to him. Asking him to keep her secrets for her. Secrets he didn't need to know. Secrets he didn't understand. It wasn't fair. She loved him so much and she was so scared that at any moment she could lose him. It wasn't that she thought he'd walk away from her. It was that she thought someone might just take him away

A soft rapping at her side door stirred her from her thoughts. She carefully wiped her eyes again, erasing any sign of ruined makeup, and stood to make her way to the door. Turning the knob gingerly, she opened it and found Toby waiting on the other side.

His hair was in disarray and he was wearing pajamas. As he stepped inside and pushed the door shut behind him, she took small steps backwards to give him room.

"Hi," she squeaked.

"Hi," he breathed back.

She took a step forward and placed her hand on his forearm, searching his piercing eyes with hers. She was looking for some indication of this visit's purpose.

He grabbed her hand from his arm and took it into both of his. "Look, I'm not happy with you, okay?"

She nodded.

"I don't understand why you're lying to me. I don't understand why I'm lying for you. We've been here before, haven't we? What good did it do then?"

"Toby, I... ," she started.

"Wait. I'm not finished," he interrupted.

She tried to drop her hand out of his, but it only made him pull her closer. It was like a metaphor. No matter how much she pulled away, it always made him pull her closer. Always made him hold on that much tighter.

"I can tell you're scared. I get it. I can't think of a reason why you wouldn't be, but why can't you just let me help you? Is it because you think you'll put me in danger? Is it because you don't want me involved? You know what, Spencer? I don't care about any of those things. _You_ are what I care about. If anything happened to you and I knew I could've done something to stop it...," Toby's voice trailed away

"You can't, Toby. You couldn't," she whispered. "I _don't _want you involved. It was bad enough for you before. You don't need to be involved again."

"But I am involved, Spencer. No matter what you do or don't tell me. I _am_ involved."

She felt that stinging sensation in her eyes that was becoming all too familiar to her. One large tear rolled down her cheek as she looked up at him and his face softened.

"Spence...," he dropped her hand and engulfed her with his body. She loved being this close to him. He made her feel warm and for a moment, safe. She wrapped her arms tightly around his torso and pressed her cheek against his chest as he stroked her hair.

They didn't say anything for what felt like an eternity. Spencer was the first to break the silence.

"I love you so much," she sighed.

He rested his head on top of hers and she could feel him smile.

"I know," he replied," and you're always trying to protect everyone you love instead of giving them a chance to protect you."

"But what if they can't?," she asked. "What if it's just bigger than them? Bigger than us? Bigger than anyone understands?"

"Give them a chance to figure it out," he said moving his head and tipping her chin up so their mouths could meet.

He slowly moved her backwards toward the couch and they lowered themselves onto it without once breaking the kiss. His hand cupped her cheek as they finally came apart.

"Stop lying to me," he requested softly. She gazed at him through her brown eyes and pulled his head gently back to hers, kissing him in response.

She knew if she replied with a promise, it would've already been broken.


End file.
